Natural love creates natural happiness

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by
Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate
for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of
links to the other carnival participants.

***

They say a picture is worth a thousand words…well how about a smile, or a giggle… a gaze? My kids are extremely social and their happiness is very obvious.  In fact, their engagement of  other adults often initiates conversations about our natural family living and the ways in which we parent our kids.

My young son Brady, age 10 months, exudes the word “content”, I hear the word daily in reference to his demeanor and ability to connect with people with no words at all.

Random Person: Your baby is so aware!  He is just STARING at me, and he is so content!

Brady...stuck under the table...still content!

Me: He’s a very mellow little guy, he loves being carried around in this sling.

Random Person: Does he sleep through the night?

Me: He wakes to nurse several times, but honestly, I hardly notice.

Random Person: Does your husband get up with him?

Me: No, we don’t get up with him, he just goes back to sleep while he nurses.  He sleeps in our bed.

Random Person: REALLY?  Aren’t you afraid you’ll crush him or your husband will roll on him?

Me: No, I always wake up seconds before he does.  And we’re used to sharing our bed with our older son.

Random Person: Well, you must be doing something right because he is so precious.

Me: Thank you!  He and his brother are everything to us.

My son Nathan, nearly 4 years old, when out and about he is like an overstuffed plastic egg, bursting with jelly-beans…”excited” is the word that exudes him.  Nathan is that child at the park that makes friends with everyone.  He is that child at the beach who encourages a shy new friend to get into the cold water and splash around.  Many, many parents have expressed envy that their child is not so outgoing, adventurous and excited about life, like our Nathan.   He has a confidence that says, “I trust my mommy and daddy.”  When he’s with us he has no fear.

Random Mom at the Beach: I wish Josh would be more like your son.  He won’t even get in the water normally.  He has “wimpy” friends at home, that’s why.

Me: Oh.  Looks like he’s having a great time, though!  Does he like playing in the sand?

Random Mom: Yes, but we’re going to Hawaii and I want him to go in the ocean.

Me: Hawaii has such great sand, maybe he could look for sea shells at the waters edge and then you could build a castle or dig a tide pool and decorate it with the shells.

Random Mom: That sounds so nice!  I’m so glad I talked to you, here I am worrying about myself, and you’re helping me think of nice things to do for Josh.  Thank you.

Random Mom’s Husband: Its 6, we better go.

Random Mom: We put them to bed at 6:30, they don’t actually go to sleep but they get up at 5 am so I HAVE to put them to sleep or else I won’t get anything done.  What time does Nathan go to bed?

Me: Whenever he’s ready.  If he’s ready he’ll lay right down.  If not he’ll run around the house like a maniac and it will take hours for him to concede to the bedtime ritual.  So we just watch for cues.

Random Mom: What about the baby?

Me:  Same thing.  He tells me when he’s ready.

Even as a little tot, Nathan lived for excitement! 15 months...

Random Mom: When do you get to do anything?

Me: Nathan will help me with some things and some things get done while I’m wearing the baby or during nap time.

Random Mom: You really understand your kids!  I don’t understand mine at all!

I felt a little uncomfortable, at first, with the conversation with “random mom on the beach” but ultimately I can see that I opened the window just a tad for her to look into my natural home and she got a good enough glimpse that she’ll remember the basic layout and overall feel.

As a natural and green mommy there is nothing better than to hear and see “self-confidence” exuding my kids.  You’d think confidence would be intangible in the baby, but its plain to see…one doesn’t gaze into someone’s eyes unless they are secure in their self…and my baby is a world class gazer.  I believe that by Nathan opening himself up to other children and showing his utter excitement for life, he too, is gazing, smiling, giggling his way into the hearts of others…who may in turn practice natural parenting because of him.  As I open my window of vulnerability to show other people how I am raising my children I, too am gazing into their lives to expose my own and advocate for more natural parenting style.

Our children are naturally happy and secure because we are there for them, morning, noon and night…because this is what feels natural to us.  As “random person” said, we must be doing something right!  Please join me on my mission to spread Natural and Green Parenting methods, let the children develop the way nature intended without societal intervention.

How do you advocate for Natural Parenting…without infringing upon boundaries and controversy?

***

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
• You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
• From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
• I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
• Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
• Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don’t share your views.
• Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
• Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
• Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
• A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don’t parent the way you do.
• Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
• Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
• Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
• Compassionate Advocacy . . . That’s The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she’s learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the “good news” of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
• Compelling without repelling — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
• I Am the Change — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
• Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
• I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
• Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
• Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people’s children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter’s senior kindergarten room.
• Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the “great divide” through gently teaching and being teachable.
• Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
• The Three R’s of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how “The Three R’s” can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
• Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
• Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
• What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
• Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
• Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
• Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she’s been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
• Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
• Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
• Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
• Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she’s doing — and it’s a gift.
• Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
• At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
• Putting a public face on “holistic” — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
• Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
• One Parent at a Time… — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
• Self-compassion — We’re great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
• Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
• Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by “just doing her thing,” she may be advocating for natural parenting.
• Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
• Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
• The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
• Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares her thoughts and some tips on Gentle Discipline.
• Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
• A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
• Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
• Why I’m not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
• Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
• A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
• don’t tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.